[continued from last entry...]
he felt bad and said, "i'm sorry. we don't have to talk about this if you don't want to! pretend i didn't say anything!"
i told him, "actually, no, i'm glad you brought this up. i've been wanting to talk to someone about it, but i just couldn't...i didn't know how."
at this point i had realized that i had just come out for the very first time.
he asked what i wanted to talk about. still stunned, i asked him about his coming out to his parents and how that went.
he told me that he isn't really that close to his family so he never told his dad.
but he told his mom when he was upset because he like this guy who went to our school.
he's been out since high school, which he said was rough at times.
as he was talking, he went off on a tangent and caught himself.
he asked if i wanted to go sit outside since we were finished with our meal and we could talk some more.
we did.
the two of us sat on a bench and he asked me, "so, do you think you are bi or gay?"
i replied by saying, "gay."
i have yet to say "i'm gay" which i think are going to be two of the hardest words to say to someone.
then we started talking about who we thought was hot or cute during high school.
i have to admit, that was a lot of fun!
for the first time in twenty-two years i was actually able to talk about guys!
we sat talking for a couple of hours. it was great. i told him to let me know when he goes out to a gay club/bar and maybe i'll go along too. i hope i'll be able to make more gay friends.
honestly, i'm still in shocked that i've come out to him. i seriously didn't think i would be coming out to anyone for several months from now. the only thing that is disappointing is that i haven't talked to him since that night.
i've just now realized it's been a week since i've come out to him. it was last thursday night. it's my one week-aversary! lol.
like i've mentioned before, we were never really close, close friends, but hopefully that will change and we'll start talking a lot more.
the next person i hope to tell is lisa.
i don't know when or how that is going to happen. i hope it's sometime soon.
i'm ready to stop "hiding" from my friends and family.
4 comments:
I'm glad that turned out well. Sometimes it's easier if someone accidentally brings it up first.
I'm very glad for you. I don't know you and you don't know me, but I wish I could give you a big hug. ... You'll find that every time you come out will be unique, but it will always be a positive thing -- even if it doesn't turn out as you expected. ... Don't make telling Lisa a big deal. Consider it a Plan B when you're together for some other Plan A. When the time seems right, you'll know it. ... I hope you'll write about it here as I am rooting for you.
thanks guys! and thanks anon. for the "hug." that means a lot. it sounds like you speak from experience.
that is sooo good, and I am really happy for you. Your taking the steps towards becoming the real you, it's probably something close to being reborn, seeing things with a new pair of eyes.
I wish I could come out too, but like you, its something I can't imagine doing at this point.
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